


Irregular

by fifths



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin Arlert & Erwin Smith Are Related, Eren Is a Little Shit, French Teacher Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), M/M, Male Hange Zoë, erwin the epitome of enigmatic, he's basically john bender, levi is self-concious, like wow, that sounds nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5316029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifths/pseuds/fifths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody likes Levi Ackerman. Not his students, not his colleagues, not his neighbor’s dog. But that’s okay because Levi doesn’t care for them either. He is entirely focused on teaching his students and he doesn’t care if he’s seen as strict or not “cool”. The only student he cares about is Armin Arlert, Levi’s saving grace. Armin is always on time with all of his supplies and homework ready. So Levi can’t wait to finally meet the parents who raised Armin at the teacher-student conferences. </p><p>He just didn’t count on Armin’s dad being so attractive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bc my one shot got a bunch of positive feedback i decided to make a series!! pls enjoy (sorry for stupid title, i couldn't think of anything else;; if you have suggestions pls leave comments down below)

“Okay, you little shits. The bell’s about to ring in a minute, so I’m gonna keep this short.” Levi commands, standing in front of the class and puffing out his chest in a futile attempt to make himself look larger.

 

“Aren’t you always?” Eren shouts then laughs, joined by the rest of the class. Eren knows that Levi’s height is a very sensitive topic yet he seems to enjoy prodding that specific bundle of nerves. No matter, Levi thinks, with teacher-student conferences just around the corner he can get some much needed time away from his students (especially Eren) as well as his revenge. So Levi decides that today is not the day that he will fly-kick Eren in the face. 

 

“Just for that, you’ve got a week’s worth of detention when you come back from your ‘break’.” Eren responds with an “oh man” and a smirk. Threatening detention doesn’t really take down Eren’s annoying air of cockiness but Levi enjoys giving it to him anyway. If he isn’t allowed to hit him in the crotch,  repeatedly , he might as well give him detention. 

 

“Right, before you think you’ll get to go away for the week scot-free, remember that your essays are due on Monday.” A chorus of groans rise up around Levi, and just on time, the bell rings. The horde of students evacuate the premises faster than any fire drill they’ve had before and soon Levi is left alone. Well, except for one student.

 

Armin Arlert. Levi’s saving grace. Small, but lethal (much like Levi). Possibly the sharpest kid in the class, scratch that, the school. He was always helping out Levi in anyway possible and he never talked back. Not even to the other kids (even though Levi had caught Armin glancing at Eren a couple of times with possibly the scariest death glare he had ever seen). In fact, Armin was probably the only reason Levi was still at the school. He would’ve retired a long time ago (he had the money) if it weren’t for Armin.

 

Speaking of which, Armin is coming right up to him. Levi has a few inches on the boy (thank god) and looks down, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Um, Mr. Ackerman, about the student-teacher conferences-”

 

“You don’t have to prepare an essay if that’s what you’re asking,”

 

“It’s not about that. Um, it’s just-”

  
Levi rolls his eyes. One thing the kid could work on were his social skills, that’s for sure.

 

“-please don’t be alarmed by my dad.”

 

“What do you mean?” Not that Levi wasn’t interested in Armin’s parents before (he was curious to know who could’ve raised such an obedient and bright child) but Armin had never talked about them before.

 

“Well, he’s a little odd.” 

 

Levi quirks his other eyebrow.

 

“What I mean to say is, a lot of people don’t expect someone like that to do what he does and they get weirded out. You’re one of my favourite teachers so I really don’t want you to think weirdly of him.” Armin spills out all at once. 

 

Levi’s still a little confused (scratch that, he’s  very confused) but lets it slide (more like tucked it in the back of his mind for later) in favor of letting Armin go and finally getting some alone time.

 

(Because no matter how much of a delight Armin was to teach, Levi’s still a man who doesn’t like spending excessive times near children, or anyone, really.)

 

“It’s alright, Armin, I promise I won’t be weirded out by your dad.” Levi states and ushers Armin out the door (without touching him) before he can make it weirder than it already is.

 

Finally, Levi shuts the door, sighing as he rests his head on the door.

 

“Thank god for teacher-student conferences”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it was super short... will try to lengthen as i add more chapters..  
> apologies in advance bc i might not post regularly (i will shoot for every week tho)


	2. the house is clean but the mind isn't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets Armin's dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow super sorry for the late update! hope this chapter makes up for it, enjoy :>>

Levi’s house is perfection. Every tabletop, every surface is clean, every nook and crannie dust-free. His neighbors always complained about him waking them up early in the morning with his cleaning. His landlord would’ve probably kicked him out several times over with all the noise complains he got about Levi except for the fact that Levi was the only who actually got the rent in on time. 

 

Levi sorts his way through the folders of the students he was going to meet the parents of that day. He had gone over these files at least a hundred times but he always stopped at one student: Armin Arlert. 

 

Levi was still thinking about what Armin had told him.

 

“What I mean to say is, a lot of people don’t expect someone like that to do what he does and they get weirded out. You’re one of my favourite teachers so I really don’t want you to think weirdly of him.”

 

What did Armin mean by that?

 

Did his father work at some shady business? Was he a drug dealer? Or a pimp? Maybe even a hitman?

 

No, no. Levi shakes his head. There’s no way that a) Armin’s dad could be someone stupid enough (or desperate enough, after all Levi knew first-hand that people would do whatever they could in order to feed themselves) to consider those options and b) even if Armin’s dad was in some kind of shady business, there would be no way that Armin would know about it, right?

 

Levi’s thoughts are interrupted by an insistent alarm. Jolting out of his reverie he quickly snatches his files and leaves the apartment. Levi rolls his eyes at the the repeated thumping he can hear from next door. For a neighbor who always complains about Levi making noise, they sure do make a lot of noise.

 

Before he makes a rash decision (like kicking down his neighbor’s door and teaching him a lesson on manners), Levi hurries out of the complex and rushes off to the school on his brand new motorcycle.

 

\--

 

Levi is ready to bang his head against his table multiple times after the last parent he had talked to. Almost all of the parents had demanded explanations for their kids’ grades and when Levi had tried to explain why, they shut him down and continued ranting at him.

 

(The only parent who hadn’t was Eren’s mom, surprisingly. Seeing Eren’s mom scold him was one of the only times that Levi saw Eren apologetic).

 

He’s about ready to leave (and possibly hit up the closest bar; to drown his sorrows, not to pick up anyone, he was too busy for that) when his last appointment arrives. 

 

“Hello, Mr. Ackerman, is it? I’m Armin’s dad.” 

 

“Oh, hello, please have a seat. I have a lot to talk about with you-” Levi starts, before he raises his head and his eyes land on Armin’s dad. 

 

Or what Levi would like to describe as the walking embodiment of sex.

 

Okay, maybe not sex, but Levi isn't going to lie and say this guy is unattractive. 

 

In fact, Armin’s dad might be the most attractive man that Levi has seen all day (if not in his entire life). 

 

So really, you can't blame him for staring a bit. And drooling. 

 

“Um, you are Mr. Ackerman, right?” Armin’s dad, asks, looking around, almost sheepishly. He hovers next to the chair that is set up in front of Levi’s desk awkwardly and keeps moving his arms around like he doesn't know where to put them. 

 

And what big hands he has. Bet they'd be perfect squeezing around his-

 

“Um, hello?” Armin's dad waves his hand in front Levi, snapping him out of his daydream. 

 

“Oh yes, I'm sorry. I was just-”  thinking about how great you'd be in bed  “-a little tired.”

 

And of course, because God (or whomever, Levi wasn't choosy) decided that this masterpiece of muscle would have the personality of a huggable teddy bear, Armin’s dad asks “Are you okay? I can come back tomorrow, if that's alright.”

 

Although putting an end to this sweet torture is becoming more and more appealing to Levi, Levi puts his duty as a teacher in front of his duty as a muscle appreciator (however hard that might be). 

 

“Yes, I'm fine. Please have a seat Mister-” Levi begins, realizing that he still doesn't know the name of the man he's already imagined in several compromising positions (which makes it even all the more embarrassing). 

 

“Erwin Smith. Call me Erwin though.” Erwin puts out his hand and Levi shakes it, confused as to why Armin and Erwin have different last names. 

 

Even with the difference in last names, Levi can totally understand how the two are related. Armin and Erwin both have blonde hair (though Erwin’s is of a lighter shade, and combed very neatly) and the same piercing icy-blue eyes. 

 

“Let's begin, shall we?” Levi says, before he starts trailing on about how amazing Armin is. 

 

\--

 

“Do you have any more questions, Mr. Smith?” Levi asks as he finishes up with Armin’s latest achievement. 

 

“No, nothing at all. And didn't I tell you to call me Erwin? I feel so awkward being called Mr. Smith, it's not like me at all.” Erwin commands then returns to a sheepish murmur. Levi can't pinpoint whether he's a military commander or a friendly baker. 

 

And what does Levi say to that?  Sorry, I can't call you Erwin because I hate people and will do anything to keep the least personal relationship possible? No, he can't say that. Especially not to the man sitting in front of him, with his eyes cast down and mouth turned into slight pout. 

 

“Sorry, I forget easily.” Is what he opts out for instead. It's neutral and it doesn't promise a more personal relationship. It's a perfect balance. 

 

“Well then,” Erwin starts awkwardly, “it was nice meeting you. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.” 

 

“It might be a good thing if you don't hear from me in the future.” Levi speaks without realizing he says these things  out loud . 

 

Erwin looks surprised, as if he was actually looking forward to meeting Levi again (not likely, he probably just wanted to hear more about his precious son). 

 

“I mean,” Levi scrambles for an excuse, “usually parents who hear from me, they're kids aren't doing so well.” Levi knows it's lame but he couldn't think of anything else. He's a French teacher not an English teacher!

 

Surprisingly, Erwin chuckles. 

 

And Levi’s brain stops for a minute just to appreciate how nice that laugh sounded. 

 

“Well, goodbye for now, I suppose.” Erwin smiles, before pivoting around and walking away, waving a hand behind for Levi. 

  
It's probably Levi’s imagination but Erwin’s hips seem to sway a little bit more than he remembered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know whether to bump up my rating to mature,, there's mentions of sex but that's it what do you guys think?


	3. getting hammered is the one way ticket to 'teacher of the year' (not really)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets drunk with his (kinda) pal Hange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS IS OMG  
> school was terrible and there was a lot of work to be done, but now that i'm approaching break i'll be able to write more and update on schedule  
> also sorry for how short this is

“God dammit!” Levi grumbles, taking another shot. 

 

“You know when you said you were going to take me out drinking I thought you meant a date. Or maybe even to strengthen our friendship. Turns out you're just a selfish dude who has no one to go to about your love life. Or lack thereof.” Hange says all in one breath. 

 

Levi glares at Hange’s shit-eating grin and goes back to drinking his sorrows away.

 

After the teacher-student conferences, Levi had immediately called Hange up to go drinking with him. Or more accurately, to watch him drink and take his sorry-ass home afterwards. 

 

Needless to say, Hange went along with it. Levi didn’t know whether it was because Hange found Levi’s sorrow amusing or if Hange actually cared for him. Levi guesses that it’s the first option.

 

Anyway, Levi is currently drowning himself in as much tequila that he can afford. Which is surprisingly a lot, since Levi rarely indulges himself like this. 

 

“Don’t you have lessons to plan?” Hange asks, smirking through his glass of water.

 

“I thought I brought you here with me to talk about my nonexistent love life, not about the stupid damn teaching job that got me into this funk in the first place.” Levi grumbles, effectively avoiding the question (the answer was no. How could he think about lesson plans when he had witnessed the man of his dreams at a teacher-student conference?)

 

“Did you just say funk?” Hange asks, eyes incredulous. 

 

“I'm here complaining about something that could become very juicy gossip material and you're asking me about my vocabulary?” Levi is pissed off. Or maybe he's just really, really drunk. It's probably a combination of the two. 

 

Hange backs off, but his irritating smirk stays on as he drinks his glass of water knowingly. 

 

Two shots later, or maybe sixteen shots later, Levi really can’t tell, he is stumbling out of the bar clutching onto Hange’s shirt for dear life. 

 

All the while Levi is throwing up, Hange is patting (or smacking) his back and chuckling whole heartedly. Levi really can’t tell if Hange is a jackass in a friendly way or Hange is just a jackass. 

  
Whatever Levi’s stance on Hange is, Drunk Levi praises Sober Levi for appointing him as the designated driver of Levi’s one-man binge drinking session. Which really shows how drunk Levi actually is.

 

Drunk Levi is hurling on the sidewalk and Sober Levi cringes at the smell and the splashing on the sidewalk. 

 

Just when Sober Levi thinks the night can’t get any worse, he spots a man walking across the sidewalk, nearing the alley that Drunk Levi is painting with his barf. 

 

Sober Levi is very curious if this karma thing is real,

 

(Was he too harsh on his students? Was it because he killed the house plants his ex had given him? Was it because of how he broke up with his ex?)

 

because the man walking towards him was definitely Erwin, aka the man who had starred in one too many of Levi’s dreams (or maybe not enough, Levi was conflicted on that subject). 

 

Just his luck that the sexiest man in the entire world is seeing Levi on his worst ever state.

 

And because Drunk Levi is the king of coming up with the worst ideas in the history of coming up with ideas (and possibly also the king of hell, depending on how bad his hangover is the next day), he straightens up and runs after Erwin.

 

“Hey you!” Levi yells with confidence as he strides forth (his strides aren’t that big even if Levi hates to admit it; he’s not exactly the tallest guy on the block). 

 

Erwin stops and looks around for a bit before his eyes land on Levi. They seem to light up with either delight or recognition. It’s probably recognition but Levi can pretend that it’s delight.

 

“Yeah, I’m talking to you! What the hell is wrong with you?” Levi spits out, tasting the tanginess of his vomit. 

 

Hange looks on at Levi’s outburst. He’s trying not to burst into laughter.

 

“Mr. Ackerman, are you drunk?”

 

“Does it matter? What matters is that you’re too hot to be a dad.”

 

Erwin blushes a little at that statement and wraps his arms around his chest self-consciously. Too bad that action just proves Levi’s point. Erwin’s chest bulges out even more obscenely than before and Levi wonders for a moment what cup size Erwin is.

 

“I really don’t know what you mean.” Erwin replies shyly as if he doesn’t know that Erwin drives Levi crazy.

 

“Yeah, okay, you can act all innocent but I know that you want this,” Levi gestures at his body, “as much as I want this.” And with that Levi grabs onto Erwin’s shoulders.

 

Levi means to push Erwin down enough so that Levi can reach his mouth, really he does. But instead he backs up a little, hands still on Erwin’s shoulders and-

 

-throws up all over Erwin’s shoes.

 

“Shit.”

 

Hange laughs.


	4. after the hurricane comes the rainbow (a really gay rainbow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi wakes up. He's hungover. 
> 
> But he's got something to look forward to anyhow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry for that mini hiatus thing;; i just wasn't motivated at all and i apologize again for the super short chap but i'll probs get back into writing soon enough;; don't worry (or do idk) anyway enjoy this sorry excuse for a chapter update haha

“Ugh… fuck.” Levi groans, wiping the sleep crust from his eyes and trying to get up off of his bed. He fails and flops around like a fish for a few seconds before calling it quits.

 

Speaking of failures, last night comes flooding back to Levi’s already jumbled mind. 

 

“Oh god, what did I do?” It’s a rhetorical question of course because there’s no one around to answer him and also Levi is already perfectly aware of what he’s done. Which, added to his immense hangover sums up to pretty much the worst day of his life.

 

How lovely, that the worst night of his life is followed by the worst day of his life. Levi would applaud whatever divine entities decides these sort of things but he’s really too busy wallowing in his own self pity. 

 

He slams his hand onto the table next to him, grappling for his cell phone. The only notifications he has are from Hange (which he immediately deletes; he’s not going to put himself through that torture when he has the mother of all headaches pounding on his brain) and his cell phone company. 

 

Going to set his mobile back on the table, he accidentally bumps his hand up against a glass of water and spills it over. 

 

“Ah, shit.”

 

His reflexes are surprisingly fast for a hung over and possibly still drunk man but Levi has no time to compliment himself for his amazing reflexes when he’s trying to salvage whatever can be left from the Great Flooding Of Levi’s Bedside Table™.

 

Thankfully, he doesn’t have anything else on the table except for a few aspirins, his lamp (which  _ thank god _ doesn’t have any exposed cables; Levi got that fixed up the first time he moved in) and a small Post-It note that he hadn’t noticed before.

 

_ Please don't push yourself, Mr. Ackerman. Get well soon :) - Erwin _

 

Levi stares at the piece of paper for a few seconds. Then he rubs his eyes again, just to make sure that he isn't seeing things. Glancing at the note again, he comes to the conclusion that yes, the man who he had thrown up on last night (and called “too hot to be a dad”) sent him a get well soon note. 

 

Levi’s about to get his reading glasses that he only busts out when reading the fine print of the terms and conditions (yes, he is one of those people that reads the terms and conditions before applying to any websites; you never know what you might find) when he spots the two aspirins next to the paper. 

 

Not only did Erwin send him a ‘get well soon’ post-it note but also a couple of aspirins to assist in his getting well soon. 

 

This guy is unbelievable. Unbelievably nice, that is. And hot, supplies Levi’s stupid addled brain. 

 

Levi wonders for a moment if this is Erwin’s way of getting back at him. Appearing to be super nice and then the next time Levi sees him, stabbing him in the back (or worse, ignoring him). But Levi pockets that thought away because right now, he is enjoying life. And that doesn’t happen very often, so he ignores the nagging thoughts in the back of his mind and chooses to focus on the fact that he doesn’t have the absolute worst headache right now (although it’s still pretty bad) and that possibly, maybe, he might have another chance with Erwin (or at least the possibility that Erwin doesn’t hate his guts). 

 

Levi takes one last look at the note before popping the aspirins in his mouth, quick and easy. 

 

Levi smiles.

 

_ Erwin Smith. What a glorious bastard. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me father for i have sinnnnnned


	5. hange is kind of a dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's feeling pretty good (or as good as he can feel) and Hange unintentionally brings him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse for this super late chapter except that i had writer's block

“What the fuck is it?” Levi looks up from the large workload of papers (all neatly stacked of course, he’s not an animal) he should be grading (should be because he’s too busy thinking of Erwin) and lays his eyes on Hange.

 

“Well aren’t you Mister Sunshine today?” Hange replies, smirking as usual.

 

Levi rolls his eyes and goes back to grading.

 

“I really don’t have time for your antics right now, Hange. As you can see, I’m busy grading papers, something, I should add, that you should be doing as well. Didn’t you just get essays handed back to you?” Levi replies, not once moving his eyes from the papers.

 

“Oh, do lighten up, Levi.” Hange smacks Levi’s arm, “You’re always so concerned with schoolwork and grading and all that bullshit,” Levi leans back and looks up at Hange, coming to the conclusion that while Hange was around, he wouldn’t be able to get any work done.

 

“Really, you should let loose sometime, get drunk,” Hange stops at that, his mouth open in mock remorse, “or maybe not, considering how that worked out for you last time.”

 

“Oh haha, Hange, very funny. I’ll have you know that because of drunk me, I got a personalized get better soon note from Mr. Hot Dad.” Levi brags, eyeing Hange for his reaction.

 

Hange stares at Levi for a few seconds before bursting out laughing.

 

Levi honestly feels a bit hurt at Hange’s reaction.

 

“That’s all? I thought you were going to say you hooked up with him, or at least got his number, but that’s all you got?” Hange cackles away, slamming his hand down on Levi’s table.

 

Now that Hange says it, Levi realizes it sounds really stupid.

 

A post it note is really nothing to be proud of, in terms of relationship building.

 

Which would make sense since Levi’s only really met Erwin twice, and the second time he puked on him.

 

Hange’s laughter trickles away and he has the audacity to look concerned.

 

“Hey Levi, you okay? Y’know I didn’t really mean it when I said that.” Hange waves his hand in front of Levi’s face, hoping for a reaction. “Levi?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Levi replies, monotonous and still staring off into space.

 

“Well if you say so Levi…” Hange tests, slowly walking away from Levi’s desk to the exit. “Don’t get drunk without me, alright Levi? Who knows what kind of trouble you’ll get into without me.” Hange goes for a joke but it falls flat to both of their ears.

 

Hange shuts the door behind him.

 

Levi sighs, gives up on his doomed-from-the-start crush on Erwin Smith and continues to grade papers.

 

Outside of his office, a figure’s fist hovers over his door, ready to knock.


End file.
